Are you having trouble finding peace in the chaos?
As a dietitian, it’s natural for me to write and teach about the powerful tool of eating high quality foods for health. But there is more than good nutrition in wellness. A healthy mindset is also required.
In this article, I will discuss reframing mindset and remaining grounded in a particularly polarizing time. I share a personal story and strategies I find helpful in finding peace in the chaos.
A Personal Story of Spirituality and Finding Peace
Every night since my kids were little, we pray together. Our nightly prayer is not found in the Bible or any religious book. It’s a prayer that I made up after a visit with a patient’s mother while I worked in the hospital as a dietitian.
Her son had a severe case of cystic fibrosis, an inherited life-threatening disorder that affects the lungs, pancreas, and digestive system. His prognosis was very poor at this point; this was the most severe case of cystic fibrosis I had ever seen.
I walked into her son’s hospital room desperate to try to help him gain weight and nutritionally thrive. While I franticly worried, she held such a calming, peaceful presence.
She answered all my questions about his nutritional history and gave me suggestions on what the kitchen could offer him that he would actually eat. Once I finished with my questions, she had a couple questions for me.
She wanted to know how many kids I had as I was obviously pregnant (third trimester) at the time. She must have sensed my nervousness and reluctance to discuss children.
I miscarried my husband and I’s first pregnancy. While working my side hustle of photography, I injured myself preparing for a photoshoot. I started bleeding that night; there was no heartbeat by the time we made it to the doctor’s office.
This was my second pregnancy and the furthest I had made it carrying a baby. I was a walking ball of nerves with a constant level of anxiety about delivering a healthy baby to term while carrying a lot of blame and shame.
Then she asked me if I prayed to God. Her question stopped me in my tracks.
I took a deep breath, smiled, and then answered truthfully, “Probably not as much as I should.” She replied, “Well sweetheart, you have to ask God for what you want and what you need help with; otherwise, how will He know.”
It was one of those moments that it felt like time slowed down and froze a minute or two. I will never forget her words and her warmth. We continued to talk for a while and I stunned to meet such a remarkable woman. While she was drowning in her own storm, she helped me with words of compassion, comfort, and wisdom.
We are not meant to carry it all. You can find comfort in surrendering worries and suffering while rising above it by continuing to show others kindness and compassion even whilst we are in pain. We can find peace just like that beautiful mother found peace in taking care of her dying son.
That was one of the most powerful moments in my life that I truly felt God and it wasn’t in a church. God is always talking to us even in the chaos of life if we choose to listen.
Every night we don’t pray for material wealth or success. We give thanks for the wins of the day, pray for others that are experiencing pain and difficulty in life, and pray for our family to be “safe, healthy, and happy”.
I know life will be far from perfect. But I let God know my deepest desire and trust in his plan. I think of that graceful woman often when we pray.
Choosing Peace in the Chaos
I heard an analogy the other day that deeply resonated for me with all of the division currently going on in the world. The woman said she sees what is happening in the world as two trains leaving the station at the same time.
The trains head on different tracks and at first you can see the other people who chose the other train riding on the tracks beside you. It may even hold friends or family members.
But then at a point, you head in such different directions that you can no longer see the other train. Each train perceives the events in the world very differently from the other; it doesn’t mean one train is necessarily more truthful than the other.
Rather, each person chooses a lens of fear to view the world or a lens of hope. You may remember this happening during Covid lockdowns in 2020.
Some chose to live in fear, glued to the internet for updates. Others chose to take the time to build stronger bonds with their families and close friends, be present, help others, and make the best of the situation.
Practical Ways of Finding Peace in the Chaos
- Carefully curate what you consume.
This includes toxic social media influencers and draining group texts. Take content breaks to process your own thoughts without being bombarded with the thoughts and opinions of others.
Do not allow someone else to manipulate you. This includes the influence we receive from social media content and news stories designed to outrage us.
- Manage what is within your control and release the rest.
Resist judging others or being triggered. When you find yourself upset by something outside of your control, get curious rather than get upset. Why does this make me so upset?
There is more than one path to the same outcome. If you disagree with how someone you care about lives their life, remember lessons are often hard earned.
Our responsibility is to show compassion and offer support if they want it with healthy boundaries in place to protect our own wellbeing.
- Find joy!
This one is important. What lights you up? How can you find gratitude? What do you do for fun? What did you do for fun as a child?
Positivity breads positivity. Be a light out there. Surround yourself with people that make you feel good. We need more good.
Final Thoughts
It’s human nature to want to solve problems. But our personal nervous system is not designed to manage the endless problems of the entire globe by perpetually stressing over things that are out of our control.
What you do have control over is how you show up in the world even when things are hard. I think it’s helpful to assume that we all have our own personal storms and most people are doing the best they can.
How can you be a source of hope for someone else? How are you finding peace in the chaos?
Did you miss my first article about “Whole Foods versus Processed Foods“? If you this helpful, please share with a friend.